During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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