Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
