We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
