Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
