6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Couch. On fire.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
