Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
