I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
