hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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