Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
