PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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