we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
