Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
