What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
