Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize