Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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