The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
