My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
