He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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