yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
