she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
