Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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