Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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