we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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