; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
