so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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