shes about as inviting as chlamydia
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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