keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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