pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
