I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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