He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
