I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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