explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
