dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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