I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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