it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
