she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
