I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
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