I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
