I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
