your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
