I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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