NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
