i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I supernannyed him into submission
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
