Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
