Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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