so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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