Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
