You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
