Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
