she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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