Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Randomize
