Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Randomize
