yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
